Day: I like processed peanut butter.

At our staff meeting every week, the RAs and I read from the kudos box - a little box where we put appreciation (and some silly) notes throughout the week.  Today we read a note from Becky, expressing that I am brave and strong for sticking to my unprocessed diet.

Although a sweet note, this was particularly embarrassing timing as I announced to my staff tonight that I've fallen off the unprocessed wagon - back to the delicious processed wagon full of sugars, salts, and oils.

Why?

I'm freaking hungry.

And it's not that the unprocessed foods aren't filling or tasty or a better choice - they most definitely are all of those things, but I'm broke, I have a meal plan, and the dining hall already has these things prepared for me at the end of a long day when all I have the energy to do is eat and watch Ellen. 

Which gets me thinking - what is wrong with our culture (and me) when meal times are an inconvenient burden.  I wasn't a psyc major but I feel like I remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs putting a pretty high level of importance on food.  

I want to stick to this while thing and stop using time and convenience as excuses, but I also want to use my free meals (or meals that are actually compensation for my time rather than 'free') so I can spend more money on luxuries like cable tv and mini-vacations to Vegas with the fabulous Matt Jeffries.  And that is selfish, and probably indicates some messed up priorities if eating the way I should/want to be eating interferes with those other things that Maslow says is less important (actually I'm not sure where trips to Vegas ranked on that pyramid - it was probably pretty important now that I think about it).

I don't want to imply that I ate healthily when I was in England just over a year ago (as that's far from the truth) but I recall having a much better work/life rythym and I wonder what steps we could take in this country to make it so we actually have the energy to say, cook a healthy meal for dinner.  I think it's probably inevitable in an individualistic and capitalistic culture that we are constantly working harder and to achieve more things - rather than living to be happy and healthy.  If the message we get every day is to work hard and achieve more things - money and prestige, mainly, how can we be expected to live whole and fulfilling lives?

 I don't have the energy to get into a critique of the pros and cons of capitalism, so that's an observation, not a criticism at the moment.    I have to go watch The Daily Show.