I'm not a quitter, I was on hiatus

I haven't blogged in 6 days.  I haven't done the math, but I bet that's a significant percentage of my 30 day challenge.

Being on call in student affairs doesn't go well with daily blog commitments.

Anyway, I'm back... and blogging wasn't the only thing I took a hiatus from.  Yesterday when having dinner with a student group in between the 'end' of the work day and an evening meeting and a Halloween decorating program, I ate dining hall foods that most definitely had things I am striving not to eat.  Typically I eat salads for lunch, and get some sort of fresh produce from the dining hall, bring it home, and turn it into dinner with some tasty, filling grains.  There was no time for that yesterday, so I caved.  A hungry Stephanie is a grouchy Stephanie.   A sleepy Stephanie is also a grouchy Stephanie.  (Is 'Hungry' one of the seven dwarfs?  If not, it should've been).

I enjoyed less than a sip of butternut squash soup before I realized it tasted like it had a pound of salt in it.  Anna, one of my RAs and vocal supporter of my unprocessed challenge, encouraged me not to eat it if it tasted gross - a rational conclusion, but I don't like waste (if you need more evidence of my distaste for wasting stuff, ask any of my RAs about how I acquired an extra cell phone that has the same battery but not the same charger as my current phone, and how I charge the battery in the unused phone and swap it out with my other cell battery every day - rather than buy a working charge for my current phone).

So I pushed the should-be delicious butternut squash soup aside and gobbled up some cooked veggies and quinoa.  That seemed close enough to unprocessed - probably cooked in a bit of oil and salt (two things I'm not eating right now), but other than that legit.

Or so I thought, until I went home to quickly watch Ellen before another meeting, and began to feel like someone was karate chopping me in the stomach over and over again.   I'm not blaming the dining hall, because I actually don't think it makes since that a teeny bit of oil and salt cooked with veggies would make me sick after 2 weeks of eating mostly raw veggies, or ones cooked in water.  The only rational explanation is that someone secretly fed me meat which made me super sick and made for a very unpleasant morning of nausea and stomach pains (I feel great now, thanks for asking!).

In other news, I made vegan cupcakes for the RAs tonight and didn't even eat one (because they are processed - though vegan and delicious).  This is progress.  I don't remember ever not participating in desserts in my life, if it was an option.  My mom can back me up on that.

Day 13: Swedish Fish

I accidentally ate some swedish fish today, which I'm fairly certain is not allowed in my unprocessed diet, though I didn't actually read the ingredients.

The weird thing is, I don't really even like swedish fish.  I just was in my colleague's office and she has a bowl of swedish fish.  Every time I go in there, I grab a handful and eat a few while we chat.  It's just because they're there. 

The other day I accidentally had salt (in a food I thought was unsalted at the dining hall) and it was horrible.  Awful.  Ridiculously salty.  14 days ago, I would've laughed if you told me something could possibly be too salty.  The bad news with the sugar - I couldn't taste it.  May be even harder to kick than the salt problem.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Truffles!

I made these scrumptious Peanut Butter Chocolate Truffles tonight!

It's impossible to describe how tasty they are so you'll have to make them for yourself or visit me for a taste.

Four ingredients: dates, (unsweetened) almond milk, cocoa powder, peanuts.

Another fabulous Chef AJ recipe.


One pound of pitted dates, soaked for a few hours in unsweetened almond milk.  Then, blended together until smooth.   Then, add 1 cup of (unsalted, no sugar) peanut butter, 1/2 c. cocoa powder (unsweetened), and 3/4 c. unsweetened almond milk, blend until smooth.  I put in the freezer for about 45 minutes, then rolled into truffle sized balls, rolled in chopped peanuts.

Super easy, and one of the most delicious truffles I've ever had.  I know alot of people don't like the taste/texture of dates, but they honestly tasted like a deliciously sugary chocolate truffle.

I should be President.

I'm currently watching a Republican CNN presidential candidate debate.    What strikes me the most is the number of times I hear people say something to the effect of this was the intention of our forefathers.

If you went to grad school with me, you may know that I have absolutely no patience for the "this is the way it's always been done" argument.  Or maybe not.  I might've been too busy chugging caffinated beverages to share my thoughts.

It doesn't matter the political party; we hear the 'this is what people intended for us over 200 years ago' argument ALL the time. 

When I was at Chef AJ's vegan cooking demo a few weeks ago, she made a similar point.  Someone mentioned that we had been eating excessive sugars and processed foods for decades - why should we stop now?  Chef AJ's response was We also enslaved people for hundreds of years.  Do you want to argue with me that because we've done it for a long time that makes slavery okay?

This vegan is really tired of the status quo argument.  That shit is for catchy High School Musical songs. 

I think governing documents and policies are important, but doesn't it make more sense for us to continually evaluate what makes sense in the present rather than pride ourselves on rule based on a 200+ year old piece of paper?  Maybe I'm just losing my mind since my veins are full of Kale instead of delicious table salt.

Herman Cain's arteries are full of nacho cheese

Recently Herman Cain commented that we should curb illegal immigration by installing an electric fence between the US and Mexico.  He then retracted the statement, saying that he was kidding, after critics accused him of deeming murder an appropriate solution to illegal immigration.  I'd cite this but you can just google Herman Cain immigration and read it from whichever news source you prefer, with whatever political bias you prefer.

I just want to point out that I was RIGHT when I quoted Stephen Colbert, whose quote resonated with me the other day.   Herman Cain doesn't have room in his heart for immigrants because it's full of nacho cheese.  Or pizza.

That's why all vegans support immigrants.

A non-anemic vegan?

Today, for the first time in my life, I had bloodwork done where NOTHING was abnormal.  No anemia.  No high cholesterol.  Everything was perfecto.

So, I'd just like to say to anyone who ever feigned nutrition expertise and told me I wouldn't get such and such nutrient as a vegan... EAT IT.  Your words, that is.  Not foods that will cause you to have high cholesterol.

To be clear, it is the spitefulness in this vegan that makes me exicted about my beautiful lab tests.  I am less excited for my health, and more excited to spite all those who think they are nutrition experts and inform me that vegans can't possibly get all the nutrients they need.  Spite.  Is a wonderful thing.

"Because conservatives and liberals.... ALL Americans have hearts.  It's just there's no room in there for immigrants because the ventricles are already filled with nacho cheese." - Stephen Colbert

True story.

Day 8: I will survive

I've gotten alot of questions about what I 'count' as processed or unprocessed.  Basically, if I can make it in my kitchen or grow it in my backyard (theorietcally, in real life I kill every single plant in my yard skillfully) it's not processed. 
My experiment with millet tonight started because I was annoyed last night at eating homemade hummus with veggies.  A nutritious snack but I really wanted something heartier, like pita bread.  Which of course I can't have because it's processed with salts and chemicals or whatever else they put in there.

So I found this recipe for millet flatbread and thought I'd try it.  My grocery store however didn't have millet flour, but they did have millet.  Never having seen the substance before, it looked pretty simple to me.  I purchased it and figured I'd turn it into 'flour' in my food processor in 3 seconds flat.   Fyi - grinding millet, while possible in your own kitchen, is not worth the trouble.  Just buy the damn flour.

Verdict - bland, but tasty with some basil rolled into the dough and topped with hummus.

Other than that, it's day 8 and I am having rapid food mood swings; one minute I'm feeling great and the next I am convinced that I will die if I don't have some salts or oils or chemicals in me.  It's the start of week 2 and I want some fake vegan cheese.

Day 7

This is never going to work.

I just saw a commercial for Cici's pizza and saw a slice of pizza topped with macaroni and cheese.  I haven't been a cheese eater for almost a year, and now all I can think about is that cheesy mac and cheese pizza because I need SALT.

I can't do this.  I need processed foods.  

But no that's okay.  I'll just sit here and eat these stupid grapes.

The better to eat you with, my dear

I wish I had carniverous teeth, so I could bite my dentist.

Several weeks ago, I went to the dentist to get a temporary crown put in.  This is the infamous day I complain about, in which I spent 4 hours at the dentist only to return home and have the crown immediately pop out.

Because I don't have enough to complain about, today I found out that my appointment to put in the permanent crown was canceled.  Why?  Because the impression they took the first time wasn't clear enough.  I got a call to schedule a new appointment, to take new impressions and start the whole process over again.  Apparently my dentist is not qualified enough to spend 4 hours perfecting a temporary crown and creating a mold for a permanent one.

Luckily, I don't need teeth any more.  In this whole unprocessed diet I can just create smoothies out of fruits and veggies.

Day 5

Cilanto lime brown rice with sauteed peas, onions, tomatoes, green and red peppers, and toasted pine nuts.

Yum!

I know I've been kind of acting like Chef AJ's groupie, but I'm starting to think one day I can outdo her.  My recipes kick ass.

Day 4: I'm coming out as.... a sugar addict

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I recently discovered that oatmeal can be made from oats.  I know it sounds common sensical, but it never occured to me that oats could be attained outside of the small brown Quaker oatmeal packets, and actually used to... make stuff.  You don't even have to BUY the packets.   Just dry oats (see the package your own food section of your grocery store - the part without the little kids sticking their hands in candy) and water.  

And what's even weirder than being able to make your own oatmeal - it actually tastes good.  I've never been a fan of oatmeal.  It's weird looking, messy, and only tastes good smothered in butter, cinnamon and sugar, in my past experience.   But the stovetop oatmeal I made from oats and water, with a little cinnamon sprinkled in after, is delicious.  It makes absolutely no sense.

I made a birthday cake for an RA today, vegan but obviously containing processed yummies such as sugar, so I couldn't eat it.  It was the ultimate challenge not to lick the batter from the bowl and spoon, but accomplished with relatively little whining.  And I only had to walk out of the kitchen to take a break from the temptation twice.

I did however, instinctively lick a spoon with icing when I was done frosting the cake.  I immediately realized my absent minded error and attempt to wipe the icing off my tongue before swallowing.  But from what I tasted, that crap is way too sweet.

Sugar addict progress.

Hypocrisy

Tonight I served milk chocolate covered strawberries to a room full of sophomores in hopes of coaxing out secrets to getting sophomores to come to my Celebrating Sophomores events.

In unwrapping 13 hershey bars, melting them down, and had dipping a crap ton of strawberries into them, I did not sneak a single taste of unvegan processed goodness.

I should get a medal for that.  Or you know, a slap in the face for feeding students the processed ingredients that I refuse to eat for fear they'll kill me.

Day 3: If someone dipped their finger in salt, I might bite it off.

Seriously, I think I could go from plant-based whole food unprocessed diet to cannabilism in 3 seconds flat.

And I'm not even hungry I just WANT salt.  Ugh.

Day 2: My first recipe

Last night I made an okay, but unacceptably bland lentil loaf for dinner.  

Today I decided to create my own recipe; if I'm going to do this unprocessed thing I have to trick my taste buds into thinking they're getting some salt.  It actually turned out quite tasty, so I wanted to share:

Stephanie's quinoa avocado dish:

I cooked 3 ice cream scoops full of quinoa (all my measuring cups were dirty, and I was too hungry to wash them right then!) in 6 ice cream scoops of water.  Chopped up a tomato and threw that in (juice and all) to cook with and flavor the quinoa.  Put a stalk of celery in to flavor the quinoa (a friend suggested this might make my food taste salty, and she was right!  I removed it after cooking because I don't really like the texture of celery, but you could also chop it up and add to the mix).  Added a handful of cooked chickpeas (unsalted) just before the quinoa was done.

While quinoa was cooking, made this sauce:
1/2 an avocado
1 teaspoon lime juice (I like the pseudo salty taste of lime, but just a splash of it might suffice for someone who's not a salt fiend).
2 tablespoons water
2 teaspoons basil
1 clove garlic (a little overpowering, I would omit if you're not a big garlic fan)
a handful of chickpeas (unsalted)
-Blend this all in a food processor until smooth.  I actually meant to add some kale to this mix for extra greens but forgot.  It'd make it a bit bitter but probably still tasty.

Poured the sauce over the qunioa when done cooking.  There you have it! Protein, healthy grains, veggies and no added salt, sugar or oil.  And I actually ate and enjoyed it.  Weird. Super flavorful and made me feel healthy :)  30 days... piece of (raw, unprocessed) cake.

My poor recipe writing skills aside (I basically just pour things in when I cook, so the above amounts are totally made up), I'm pretty sure I could be on the verge of a new career as an unprocessed vegan chef.

Day 1: Kids are gross

Today I started my official 30 days without processed foods.

I had a chocolate smoothie for breakfast (a few teaspoons of cocoa powder to cover up the taste of the green veggies that probably wouldn't taste great as a beverage).  It was delicious.  But the downside of nutrient rich fruits and veggies is they have no calories.  I spent most of mid morning trying to get full off snacks of fruit, nuts, and finally, a bowl of chickpeas for lunch.

At this point I realized I probably needed groceries to make this work.  I headed over to Sprouts to bag my own lentils and brown rice.  In the midst of bagging some ground flax seed while looking longingly at the various kinds of delicious treats nearby, I noticed a child sticking his hands in a barrell of candy.  He threw the candy up and down, digged his hands in deeper, picked up as much as he could and let it drop back into the communal barrell.  I looked around in search of a parent for this child, and finally one yelled at him to get his hands out of there.  I advise never touching communal containers full of candy.  If you're going to eat sugary treats, spend the extra money on pre-packaged.  It's not very green, but might save you some gross illnesses.  I have enough doubt about a kid's desire to run their fingers through lentils or flax seed to trust those bins more.

I had picked out an unprocessed dessert recipe involving dates, which I quickly realized... I don't know what they look like.  I briefly debated asking a store employee where I could find dates, but backed out for fear they'd interpret it romantically, as I didn't see anyone around that I was interested in, in that way.

I came home and made this for dinner.  Yum!  I totally have this unprocessed food thing down.  Stay away from things kids like and touch and lick in public.

Day 0

Yea it was supposed to be day 1.  But I advise the Jewish Cultural Life Committee and they bought Challah today, including a vegan challah.  It'd be rude of me as an advisor not to try it right?

Salt and sugar are definitely addictive.

30 day challenge

For the next 30 days I am giving up sugar, salt, oil, and all processed foods.

In short, if it doesn't grow in the ground or on a tree, I'm not eating it.  Already having a year of veganism under my belt, this might not seem like such a big deal.  But I LOVE processed food, especially anything with sugar.

It's easy to be a vegan and rationalize that veganism is healthy and therefore it's okay to dump a pound of vegan margarine with several cups of sugar into a baked good, or to sneak shots of Himalayan sea salt into your mouth while cooking (actually, you don't have to sneak it if you live alone!).  Rationalizing that oreos are vegan, and since I don't eat the tasty sugary treats with dairy or butter, it's okay to consume copious amounts of oreos because I had vegan sausage (a highly processed unnatural food) for breakfast.

Last night I went to a vegan cooking demo at a Whole Foods, with an amazing chef advocating an unprocessed diet.  It's really not rocket science, if it's a chemical, it's not meant to be digested.  Things that are highly processed, even if originally a natural ingredient, have the nutrients squeezed out of them and replaced with addictive quantities of salt, sugar and/or fats.  And, as Chef AJ pointed out on the topic of dairy causing weight gain, "Drinking milk is for calves to turn into thousand pound cows." 

I wouldn't be very good at being me if I didn't impulsively try to make huge lifestyle changes and start new blogs whenever I have nothing better to do with my free time.

I told my friend Marco I was giving up processed foods and he accused me of "being such a consumer," understandble since on a whim after sitting through Chef AJ's demo and buying her book, I decided to change my entire diet. But the REAL consumer Stephanie would buy addictive processed foods and let the food industry manipulate her into spending money on products that can barely be considered food that they insist, she needs.

At least, that's what I read in the book I bought yesterday.

Chef AJ writes in her book that most of us will probably continue to kill ourselves with processed crap marketed as food.  She says if I'm not ready to change the way I eat, that's okay.  She says some people would rather die than change.

And though I can see through her thinly veiled reverse psychology in Chapter three of Unprocessed, I am actually spiteful enough to buy into it.  Supposedly it takes 30 days to change your palate, so I guess the trick here is get me to do it for 30 days and I'll miracoulously find kale delicious (I do find it delicious now, but only smothered in olive oil and salt) and never have any desire to go back to eating salt out of the shaker.

In preparation for Day 1 of my 30 day unprocessed challenge starting tomorrow, I went to the grocery store tonight for some spinach, kale, fruits, and other healthy crap that won't clog my arteries.  It was a strange feeling depositing my items onto the conveyer belt.   Normally, I avoid eye contact - you know that feeling when the cashier rings up your bottle of wine, tub of vegan margarine, and pack of oreos (when you went to the grocery store for some fresh veggies, but forgot them and then by the time you're at the register you don't want to walk allll the way back to produce)?  Ahhh grocery guilt.  A long time staple of my shopping trips.  This time I felt... acceptance? pride?  Whatever that feeling is when you're buying stuff that you're not ashamed of.

30 days starts in t-minus... 3 minutes!  I'm off to finish labeling all the processed crap in my pantry with "This will kill you, but go ahead and eat it if you want," or "What would Chef AJ think?"  (I don't actually want to throw the stuff out until I see how the 30 days goes).  Wish me luck!